You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
So vagazzling was a success
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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