so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
