then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
