I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
soo... how was my night?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
