I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
