My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
