I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
dude. I can hear the air.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the š®like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
āOn a breakā is implied when itās a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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