he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
