I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
