So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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