Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
