What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
i think im in europe. pls send help
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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