Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her

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(425): View more from Washington

God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

As in ill only blow him next week

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg

(920): View more from Wisconsin

Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I think the camel was justified in biting me.

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(+33): View more from France

I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.

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(519): View more from Ontario

This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis

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(541): View more from Oregon

Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.

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