Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
