Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
