# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
