i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
