Your tits are I can't wait for
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize