so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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