If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
This is my gift to your gina
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
