Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
