I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
