I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
