You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
