my text book just quoted the cookie monster
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
