will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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