I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
