dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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