I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
That accounts for only three of the penises
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
