Sry I called you an 8
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
The Olympian is in my bed
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
