We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize