he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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