while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
