so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
