It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
We just shotgunned beers for America
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
