You really coming over, don't trick.
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Randomize
