he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
