When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
