we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
