guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
