someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
