Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
