so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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