Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
