9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm too high and old for this...
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
