dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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