I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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