oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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