You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
