I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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