We won't sleep together?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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