i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i used baking grease as lip gloss
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Your penis caused this!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize