I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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