Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
