As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i just google imaged poop.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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