cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
