Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize