im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
