Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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