Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
