I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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