Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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