let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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