my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You're breaking my sexual little heart
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
