Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
When did angry sex become our thing?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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