Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
