5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
