We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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