I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
