I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
