after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Of course I have a pirate flag
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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