Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize