No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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