Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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