North Korea, Best Korea!
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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